Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Why I Should Join IPCA

IPCA (The International Paranormal Containment Agency) needs me. Seriously. Why, you might ask? Because I have found a new strand of paranormals that is far more powerful and frightful than any other breed out there!

For instance, it has two bi-colored eyes, a mouthful of teeth and will literally eat ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. Beware. The markings on it's fur coat indicate that it is from a far-away land. A land that is filled with cold climates and vast snow storms. Unfortunately, they have started to migrate across the world at an alarming rate. With no glamours to hide their unusual nature it can't be long before the majority population of "normals" discover their frightening presence. This breed must be contained before it is too late (not to mention the fact that if we enlist them we'll have a new source for transportation along with their many attributes towards nabbing strange creatures).

Some things to look for:
As said above, bi-colored eyes (usually one brown and one blue).
Two rows of sharp teeth.
Takes on a canine appearance, but is really a patience-eating, poop machine.
Occasionally howls/yowls. Usually during the hours of limited slumber.
Likes to be let out to use the bathroom 10 times a day or more. As said, POOP MACHINE.
Sometimes pretends to be cute. Don't let it fool you.
Has thick coat of fur and black snout.
Sharp claws.
Likes to jump on people and pant in excitement.
Will eat anything, including fireworks, raisinets, batteries, and a few splinters off of the leg of one's favorite chair.

If you see one of these:

Please report the paranormal directly to me. At this time I am still petitioning IPCA about the dangers that this breed of paranormals presents. Again, beware.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, and would like to find out, you're going to have to wait until the book Paranormalcy by Kiersten White comes out on August 31. If you can't wait that long (like me, heh :D), here's a few contests that are giving away an advanced reader's copy:
Kiersten Writes -This is the author's blog! :D

The Publication Follies of Alexandra Shostak -This is Alexandra Shostak's blog!

Babbling Flow -And this is Sara McClung's blog!


  1. That was past AMAZING!! Loved it, had me cracking up at the end...

  2. HA! I knew Calix was an evil bastard! Luke was a bit of a surprise though...